


I'm still breathing (I'm alive)

by deutschistklasse



Series: Salvage Universe [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Burns, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by Fanfiction, Mercy Killing, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24080557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deutschistklasse/pseuds/deutschistklasse
Summary: Kustaa's POV on the fight between Zuko and the Fire Nation soldier. - Inspired by MuffinLance's fic Salvage and tumblr posts.
Series: Salvage Universe [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905865
Comments: 58
Kudos: 906





	I'm still breathing (I'm alive)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Salvage](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21116591) by [MuffinLance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinLance/pseuds/MuffinLance). 



> I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender.  
> This was inspired by Chapter 8 from Salvage, MuffinLance's fic, and an anonymous comment on her tumblr. Her tumblr is dangerous, it gives people ideas to write.  
> Warning: I didn't know, if this fic must be rated T or M. I choose T, because there isn't any graphic depiction of violence and death, but it mentions it, just like attacks on family, mercy killing, burns, angst. If any of it troubles you, better not read it. I don't know, what can be triggering.

Kustaa waited for the battle to end. He was already on edge, and Zuko’s agitation wasn’t helping him remain somewhat composed.

It wasn’t really uncommon, that the fight happened on the Akhlut’s board, but this time it sounded more brutal. He was prepared to tend to the injured and to calm an upset Fire Prince down after the fray with the Fire Navy crew, but he was worried.

When that soldier burst in, he felt his heart stop for a moment. It was so much like six years before, when… No. He needed to focus on the present.

He grabbed a nearby knife, but he knew, he wasn’t a match for him. He was a healer, not a fighter. And he couldn’t expect _Zuko_ , a mere boy, a mere _Fire Nation_ boy, to defend him. He knew, how much he wanted to just go home, go back to his previous life. It wouldn’t be fair to hold him back.

He liked the grumpy, but surprisingly compassionate Fire Prince. If you could forget his father being the Fire Lord, you found just an average teenager. An angry, confused, idealist boy, who just happened to be a firebender. But this was a sin for many in the crew.

The boy was overstressed, constantly anxious, unnerved by the crew’s attitude towards him. And he wanted somebody to rescue him. He hoped against hope, and it was heartbreaking to watch, just how much he wanted somebody to care.

Zuko wasted no time. He stopped the soldier in his track, and asked him to take him back to the Fire Nation ship. Kustaa understood it, and he would have let him go without resistance. The last few days were pure torture for the boy. At this point it would have been better, if he managed to flee.

But the man was hesitating. He understood that too, in his position he would do the same. The safety of one’s crew was above all. He squeezed the knife tighter, and waited for the soldier to make his move.

He managed to restrain Seal Jerky, before the agitated pup lunged at the man. There was no need to let the isopuppy die for nothing.

Hearing the soldier’s plan to take out their water store, to light the cabin and the cargo hold on fire, Kustaa shifted towards the stairs, praying for help from somebody. But he knew, there would be nobody to come, all of his comrades were fighting on the deck above.

The soldier slid into a firebending form, and Kustaa raised his knife. But Zuko was moving too. Right between them, while dissipating the soldier’s fire, and attacking with his own.

This couldn’t be true. Kustaa experienced a feeling of dissociation, like he was just a spectator in a very bad play.

Everything felt surreal, a grotesque joke of the Spirits. It took him a few moments to just restart his thought process in the face of the awful display.

A sixteen year old boy fought _a grown firebender_ soldier. _A sixteen year old boy_ fought for him, when he was the adult. His heartbeat quickened, and his ears were ringing. No. Not again.

He wanted to rage at Zuko, to grab him and hide him, to wallop him and lock him up in a safe place, where he couldn’t get into trouble. He wanted to join in the fight, to warn him of the soldier’s moves, but what if…

What if he would kill a sixteen year old boy with it again. He felt useless, just watching the fight between the two paralyzed, unable to do anything to help.

He held the frenzied Seal Jerky with his free hand tight, while he tried hard not to think of another battle with the Fire Nation, of another teenager at home. A bright eyed, idealist boy, with a love for warrior training, but who made time for healer training too. His nephew, his sweet, precious nephew.

A boy, who was sixteen, when the Southern Raiders came again, and who thought, he was ready to fight them.

A boy, who was angry and felt betrayed, when he held him back.

A boy, who needed to fight anyway, when he failed to hold the enemy out of the hut, where his family was hiding.

A boy, who was distracted, when Kustaa saw the soldier’s attack, and shouted at him to move. It cost him dearly. Kustaa didn’t remember what happened next. But the soldier was dead, and his nephew…

Kustaa lost that day not just his beloved nephew, but his sister too. She never spoke to him afterwards. He saw it in her eyes, that she thought, what he did was unforgivable. And it was true. The boy was too burnt, too injured, he wouldn’t have survived. Death was mercy. It was him, who killed his nephew.

The smell of burnt flesh brought him back to the present. No. Zuko!

But it wasn’t Zuko, who was hurt. Of course, this didn’t mean, that the boy was well. He was abnormally pale, eyes unfocused, clearly in shock.

Kustaa moved near the defeated soldier, but Zuko was aware enough to stop him. He took the knife from him with shaking hands, and just... The man was gravely injured. It was merciful, it was the right thing to do, but the blood splattered teenager was disagreeing. He didn’t take two steps and he was sick.

Kustaa was at Zuko’s side immediately, holding his hair back, then helping him down on the floor, arms circling him, promising safety. A hiding place from the world.

The isopuppy pressed himself to the prince’s other side, and then they were just existing. Just being, breathing together. They were alive, and there was no going back.

He lost once a nephew. Almost a month ago he gained a new one. Firebender or not, he wasn’t giving Zuko up. Not to the Earth Kingdom, not to the Fire Lord. This boy was _his_.


End file.
